All these Fucking lil Welfare Case Kids!!! AHHHHHHHH!!

Fucking Hola Putas,
A shot out to all the Mamas out there!!! It's hard being the mom of many lil bastards, you see I never got married, so all eleventeen of my kids are bastards! I never got that far into the relationship I had with any of their fathers. Yes FatherS! None of my kids have the same dad, they all end up getting locked up as soon as I get Knocked up. And I always know when I get pregnanunt cuz to tell you the truth I always end up getting "The Curse", no not my period, The fucking thing growing inside me. Period, yeah right, I've only ever had one and that was recent too. I was at the gym, in the showers, lathering up with all the other girls, soaping eachother, washing eachothers hair, you know! Girly Time. All of a sudden I started bleeding, I never knew about that cuz I got pregnanunt in 7th grade and never made it to sex ed! Well I thought I was dying and the girls they started laughing at me and throwing tampons, yelling "Plug it up! Plug It UP!" Since they were making fun of me bleeding, I had to level the playing field! I ended up getting arrested and Charged with 19 counts of attempted murder, but I fucked the judge and he lowered it to some minor traffic violations. God was on my side, well I was on my back. Anyways I need a fucking break cuz all they do is eat, sleep and shit! Not to mention the never-ending crying and bugging. Mommy I'm hungry, I'm shit on, brother cut my hand off again!! It's like "STOP killing my high you little fuckers! UH! I'd go drop them off at my moms pad and run away, but she ain't even home. She's gone to visit her man in prison. I should just leave them on the porch with some bread and balongna, till she gets back. I'm right, I don't got to deal with this shit. Thank you Bloggers for helping me figure out what to do about my headach! Drop them off and get a 40oz! Thanks.
~Kitty Morena "ChiChi Pussyculo"

P.S. Here's a classic video where I talk about all my damn lil brats...

The 12 Days of New Years

High Everybody,
chichiandchonga.blogspot.com are so excited to bring you the debut of our BRANDMOTHAFUCKINSPANKIN new show called "THC" (Two High Cholas). We'll be releasing new episodes as fast as we can make them, so sit back and relax your feet cause you'll be running to the bathroom REAL SOON...





-Jenna Mystique AKA Chonga Bonga

HAPPY NEW YEAR

High Blog-o-sphere,
The New Year is coming soon... where will you be? Drunk and in jail for a DUI? High and being raped by a large gorilla? or at home masturbating with your own tears like Morrissey? What if you had something to look forward to? Like a show or something! Something you could get high and drunk to without the DUI or RAPE. Something you could masturbate to without crying... perhaps your wishes will be granted soon, very soon...





Go Green,
Jenna Mystique

Kitty's in a Fashion Show.....

Eat my PEACHES!!!

I FEEL CREAM!!!! PEACHES!!!



Hola Putas, It's Kitty again, and agian and one more time, again!!! I had to change my undies cuz, I feel cream!!! Yes, that's right .... Peaches has released another album... "I feel Cream". Awesome!!!! I'm totally loving it to the fullest. From the very first track to the final, Peaches has once again out done herself. "Impeach My Bush!" was - Rock Out with Your Cock Out, but there's something about this new album that is just - to infinitey and beyond, By far the best album to masterbate to. Makes me want to run out in the street, strip off all my hoochie cloths and scream "Get in my Peach, you fucking bastards!!". Well don't take my word for it, go out and get it for yourself! Let me just go over my favorite tracks on the album, totally a must listen to if you're looking for cock and it's looking right back atcha: "Billioniare" (featuring Shanda K), is a superb throw back to what good rap was and still is. "Treak or Treat" is for all you bitch who "never go to bed with out a piece of raw meat!" The title track "I Feel Cream" is a super sexy dance track, think Madonna's "Confessions on a Dancefloor" on Spanish Fly. MMMMMMM. "MUD" a song that I am sure is for the American youth, with their Prada bags, expensive cloths and no souls.... Please do yourself a favor and listen well. The whole album is fucking hotter then one guy in a room with The Boom Boom Dolls in heat! Finally, last on the album, but certainly not my least favorite is "Take You On", check it out and decide for yourself....




Here's a funny ass video.. flashback peach.. Peaches "Fuck The Pain Away" by Miss Piggy of the Muppets.




For More Peaches, visit her website....
http://peachesrocks.com/


Do yourself a favor...
Love,
.:Kitty Morena LA Peachy Surena:.

Funny AND Deadly

Hey Guys,
We have a way better upload of THE BOOM BOOM ROOM @ funnyordie.com Don't forget to vote for your favorite dolls! We love you.

The Boom Boom Room - watch more funny videos

The Boom Boom Room

Here it is... and even a day early for all you who couldn't wait. Its our first time so please be gentle. A huge thanks to everyone that helped make this little project possible. The quality of the Flash file isn't all that but we'll have an actual download for you bitches tomorrow.

ENJOY

Can't Find Time

Holas putas, perras and all you jotos!!!! I love you!!! Sorry I haven't been able to find the time to do anything..... I keep looking and looking but it seems that Jenna took all the clocks out of the Dollhouse cuz apparently she's on a tripped out mission to stop time. I tried to let her know that's not the way to go about it, but who listens to me??? NOBODY! that's who. Well that ain't my fault. Not being able to know what time it is sucks. It must have been a bitch to make an appointment before watches were invented. They had to go off the sun, you know? I don't know about you but every time I stare up at the sun, my eyes burn and then I see spots, well more spots, cuz I already see stripes and stars. No not like the flag, like if someone just broke a vase over your head, and not just any vase, one with ashes that used to be a person who was alive. Of course they're dead! How can you turn to ashes and still be alive?? I'll save that question for Scarlet, she's miss "know it all","seen it all" and "done them all". Love her. What the hell!!!! Where did the time go? JENNA!!??!! See how am I supposed to know what time my kids get out of school?? Now I'm totally late all the time, or don't even show up cuz I'm too drunk or too lazy. They can walk home! And if they get lost... that's coo as long as my welfare check don't get lost too. Wow, would you look at the time cuz I can't. Time flies when someone throws a clock across the room. Well I better go and figure out what time it really is.......I got a vato coming over later, I hope he's cute, if not, oh well, I wont be able to see him anyways. Got to go stare at the sun and find out the time.

Later Bitches,
.:Kitty Morena LA Surena:.

BUST, BABY, BUST

High Stoners!
It's me, Jenna

I know its been a while but we've just been so hard at work on the show... well, that and Scarlet's (7th) 18th birthday! So we haven't had as much time to blog but we're coming back with a bang! We can FINALLY release a few details about the show. Firstly, the name of the show is...
















BUSTED



That's right bitches!!! In this first installment The Boom Boom Dolls get BUSTED.

Once again four best friends: Asia Ho, Jenna Mystique, Scarlet Fever and Kitty Morena La Surena find themselves trapped in jail but this time things aren't quite what they seem. American CIA agent Kennith Karl King may not have all the evidence he needs now but he'll stop at nothing to prove just how sane he is. Only love and our four heroines can stop him before its too late. The only show in Los Angeles with an Asian, a redheaded stoner, a diva, live alligators, two actual 747s and a drunk/pregnant/chola/stripper! Packed with more extras than a tranny's g-string, The Boom Boom Doll's BUSTED is guaranteed to thrill you, chill you and get you kinda high ;) We highly suggest that you buy your tickets EARLY! Don't be the last one without what you need.


...and don't forget to stay tuned (even better to subscribe or follow) for behind the scenes footage, costume sketches, audio clips, rehearsal videos, stickers and more!!!


Go Green,
Jenna ;)

Other Projects of LA Surena

Hola Putatitos,
It's Me Kitty Morena LA Surena, back again for some action. Well as you already know about us Boom Boom Dolls having busy bodies, and Scarlet's Birthday GangBang Bash!!! Working on the SHOW and getting off probation, well I've been working working working day and night, I recently auditioned for "Who Wants to be the next Millionaire Pussycat Doll" It's a new reality show where contestants compete for their lives and a chance to win a million dollars over the course of a million years, sounds great. Each of the contestants must be sexy, slutty, whorey, nasty, dirrty, and casting couch ready. Hello! we ARE competing to be the next Millionaire PussyCat Doll!!!! Yet, of course I already got the boot, it was only a matter of time, cuz when you put 13 desperate money-hungry fame-drivin whores in a house together, someone is bound to get shanked, and that's what happened! You see, I get along well with girls of this caliber, just look at my friends, they are the whoriest of the whores, the skankiest of the skanks, the all around "I'll take you to this back alley and 'chat' with you, then my homegirls jump out from behind the dumpster and we rob you, then rape you, then kill you" and not all in that order either!! Well back to the story, I was upstairs hiding in a closet, smoking a joint, when this bitch opens the closet door and accuses me of stealing her clothes. I'm like "First of all, how do you know i'm stealing your cloths, bitch?" then she responds with a smart ass comment like "Because you're wearing them, and using them as rolling papers". Lets just say i hate when bitches think they know the whole story, even though they do, fuck that, I pulled out the sharpened toothbrush I keep in my hair, and put so many holes in that bitch she looked like a golf course! Well if that didn't get me kicked off the piolet episode, i guess my backgroumd check finally came back. And I could understand, cuz who wants a phycotic homicidal whore criminal running around their house, I know my mom don't!!! Well Whatevers, I also auditions for Season 2 of RuPaul's DRAGRACE, so keep your fingers cross for me cuz i hope i make it. Things look real good from this point, i heard they don't do background check, and RuPual is know to cut a bitch up too!!!! Pues!!!!



Here's a photo of me...... "Who wants to be the next Millionaire PussyCat Doll?"





Kitty Morena LA Surena is the PUSSYCAT CHOLA!!!!

Chillin'

Scarlet and Me


Oh My God!!! What's up you bastards? It's me Kitty Morena LA Surena, just stopping by to say 'Hola" and that we are soooo busy with all the up and comming projects that we have been working on. So busy, they call us busy bodies, very busy bodies. Lots of things went on this week Scarlet's Birthday is this saturday, so you know i've been getting that going. I had to book the place, contact catering and kidnapp a striper so he can pop out of the cake that Jenna is baking. Now I have to go get another one because, he got in the cake before Jenna started baking, then when she was done getting high, she put him in the oven. It was a big mess, luckily Asia was here to devour the man-cake, it wont be the last time she swollows man-frosting today. Well as you can tell I've got a whole shit load of things to do, we still got to order the acrobats,the cage for the alligators Jenna's going to wrestle, and we still need to get the Tiger that Sequil O'Neal is supposed to ride in on when he comes in with Scarlet on his Sholders for when she arrives. Today Jenna and I need to figure out where we are going to find 20000 kilos of the purest columbian blow, if not we need to think of something else to put in the gift bags. Honestly, pues, i don't even know what to do about the dunk tank, where am i going to get all that man milk from? Maybe i can get some guys to come over tonite and do a circle jerk, i need about 250-275 guys, any volunteers?? Tonight? Well i got to go stretch my wrist, cuz it's going to be a long night......


This was a performance i put on for Scarlets's Birthday last year..... Enjoy...
Chola Da Explora

Public Assitance Needs Assistance. Kitty Style!

Okay, this shit ain't even funny. Let me tell you what happened to me this morning. So I'm at the Welfare office, cuz my stupid social worker messed up my check for this month. So the bitch made me come in and let me tell you something, there are sooooo soooo soooooooo many fucking people jumping on the government assistance banwagon since this whole recession thing started. It's like what the fuck now? They wanna cut off the money the government owes me so I can share it with all those people who wanna work but have no job. Shit they are perfectly able and willing to work but NO, everyone's going around and getting laid off cuz there's little money in the economy! And the little money that's in the economy is being taken by those rich white people with hooves for feet and have horns coming out of their heads. Drinking their expensive wines and viles of baby's blood, I know for sure cuz my priest told me. Anyways pues, there I was in line behind this woman who said she used to work for this big cooperation and now has been reduced to such poverty. This guy in front of me was saying he was once this big shot eating at fancy places, probably like Red Lobster, he now has to shop at Food 4 Less with food stamps. I politely got in their business and said "Fucking Excuse me!! Don't complain, you're lucky I don't cut you up now that I have to share part of my government money with each of you greedy ass bastards, this ain't about you. Yes! times are hard and they are going to get worse before it gets better, and you tell yourselves how terrible it is to live like the poor but let me tell you that you were already poor... on the inside. You say you can't survive without your credit cards, your sports cars, and your yogurt shops. If you think that you're better off dead then let me know so I can help you out with that. You say that your life is not worth living cuz you no longer have nice things, try having all these damn kids, always breaking my nice shit. And you say you don't want to go on cuz you have to slum it with trash. You think you're better than me?!?" So I took my box cutter and danced it across their clothes. Now they don't just need assistance with food, but with clothes too. About 30 seconds later they needed housing too cuz I put a bomb in... just kidding, I don't got to do that since the bank is foreclosing the property anyways. That's fucked up! So all I can say is Keep Your Head To The Sky cuz what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And if it was me trying to kill you, I'll be back... SO when times get hard, it's time to get hard. So in this time of money problems, here are a few ways to make money in this recession......ENJOY!!!!







Love,
.:Kitty Morena LA Surena:.

Jenna, I'm Sorry... Really Sorry...

Well first let me explain what happen. Okay so I had my kids over visiting this weekend, cuz they live with my mom, due to the surpreme court ruling out I'm an unfit mother, which works out fine with me cuz I don't need all these little brats stressing me out. I don't know! supposedly I'm an immediate danger to anyone I come in contact with.... whatever! Besides it's better for me, so I don't gotta hear cops talking shit to me cuz they said I would leave my kids home alone when I'd go out partying for weeks at a time. HOW STUPID!!!! They ain't even alone, there's 12 or 13something of them together, and just cuz I'm an adult, doesn't mean I'm even responsible..... I'm usually stoned or drunk when they're around. I figure, that's the way i was during the conception, pregnancy and birth, why change now!?! Anyways Pues, so the lil shits have been learning bout being drug free at school, Damn teachers brainwashing my bastards!! So they hung this sign on the front gate.......



When Jenna came home from missing for 3 weeks, she walked up and saw the sign. Thinking that we had been kidnapped and brainwashed by drug-free teachers, she started screaming only to turn around and run for her life, so except for seeing that happen from my window, I now haven't seen Jenna in 5 weeks.....Please come home gurl! It was just a misunderstanding.... Of course we're not drugless, even my probation officer has no say in what laws I wanna break. You know we'd go looking for you, but where to even start. What alleys to look in, what drug dealers to sought after, Rehab?? Never Jenna's not a quiter. Besides I can't go anywhere, I'm on house arrest, Scarlet's filming her dating reality show "Fever of Love", and Asia chained herself to a pack of endangered wolves in protest, pretty soon they'll be exstincted, she'll get hungry. So just come home soon, Jenna!!!

Love,
.:Kitty Morena LA Surena:.

.:Kitty Morena LA Surena:.

Hola Putas!!! It's Me Kitty Morena. Of course I'm a chola! I'm here cuz I'm really excited, and not just cuz I got released from jail, but becuz I'm in heat. Yes that right like a dog in heat, more like a bitch in heat, a freak without warning, I got an appetite for sex cuz me so horny!!! But really I've been locked up and haven't got laid in soooooo long, 2 days to be exact! 2 days 2 long if you ask me..... Which nobody ever does! Whatever. I'm not just a horny bitch, I'm also a stealer and a liar, believe me, if I saw you with something I want, I'll get you to give it to me. People are always so nice to me when I pull knifes out on them. I'm like, "Hey bitch, that's a cute top!!" then they usually give it to me. I mean even if you don't have something that I want, I'll just take what you got in your pockets. Including the pockets themselves. Klepto-ho!! At first they think I'm joking but when I proceed to choke them, then they know I ain't playing. Hahaha, if you could only see, people make the funniest faces when they can't breath and the fear for their lives begin to set in, hahahaha. THEN...They always get so serious and I'm like, "O My God! I'm just joking!" I guess some people can't take a joke...... OH WELL!!!! That's not my problem, I'm just a krazy humorous kinda chola, It could be from all the alcohol my mom drank when she was pregnant, but I personally think it was the crack she did. It just makes me special, and hyperactive. Which reminds me! I got to go and break into a house cuz I'm bored. Well it was nice to meet you and I hope to see you again soon, well I can't really see you.......Or can I see you!!???!!!??? Tonight? (wink wink, shank, shank)


Before I go here's something to help you get to know what kind of person I am........ A Single Mother of 12 or 13-something kids, but more important........ An aspiring Stripper!!!!



can't wait to become a real stripper instead of just dancing for money at my Tio's backyard parties, high school parties and my own babyshowers.......
Later Perras,
.:Kitty Morena LA Surena:.