Here Comes Trouble

What happens when a drunk/feisty/chola and a free-spirited/hippie/stoner chick are friends??? You get a lot of action-packed, fudge-packed, prison-sentencing, dead hooker discovering, girls-gone-wild of a time.
ChiChi Pussyculo and Chonga Bonga pack a punch and a gun, so don't fuck with them.
Kick it and see what develops (on your genitals).

She Didn't Kiss Frogs

High Guys,
I just got back from watching the brand new PRINCESS AND THE FROG! It was so magical, whimsical and wrong. NO! I am not saying that there's anything wrong with having a black princess. I think we should have had one a long time ago, who looked like young Pam Grier but I digress. I was shocked and appalled at how Disney butchered the story completely. I am from New Orleans and I can tell you that you're not supposed to kiss frogs, you're supposed to LICK THEM! You see there's something in the skin my grandma called "bump juice" that allows you to see into the future and create your own destiny. Apparently its also great for getting oil off the driveway but did Disney get that memo? No, I don't think so. So the next time you go around kissing frogs, just know that you're not gonna get the maximum high unless you completely rape them with your tongue.


Go Green
Jenna AKA Chonga Bonga

The Bitch That Stole Christmas!!!

Hola Xmas Putas!!! It's me Kitty Morena AkA ChiChi Pussyculo, and I'm here to bring you an early Xmas gift...... No! I didn't buy it!!! I stole it!! Here's an ancient Xmas story stolen and misread by my ass!! You have to wait til after Xmas to get your other presents cuz I got to break into rich white people houses and take the shit they got, cuz that shit aint fair!!! Just cuz they got money they can have nice things, fuck that shit!!!

It's X-mas I'm gonna break into your house, steal your gifts, eat ur food and shit under the tree! Merry Fucking X-mas u greedy, present insisting, ungrateful, selfish, inconsiderate bastards!!! Enjoying ur Holiday, spending all ur money!! Fuck that shit!!! I'm poor and know the truth! I give love all year long and no...w u want more! Fuck your Mom!!!
A Lil Merry Fucking Christmas from Kitty "ChiChi Pussyculo" Morena!!!!!
I have one of these for everyone on my x-mas list, are you on it??? Let me Know if you deserve one of these!!!!

Merry Fucking X~Mas,
.:Kitty Morena LA Holiday Surena:. ChiChi Pussyculo

Cum Tuck your TREASURE under my Tree!!!

Hola from the Putaist of the Putas

Hola booties! It's me, .:Kitty Morena LA Surena:. AKA ChiChi Pussyculo. I recently was informed that the world was going to be ending soon... What the fuck!!??! Why didn't anyone tell me! Luckily this real nice pervert told me I was on his list of things to do before the world ends. He was so nice at first, but became really uncomfortable when I had my razor against his neck. Some People don't know how to take a joke, Cheeze! Okay so at first I didn't believe him, so I went to the only person I know who's as close to Nostrodamas as .... I know. So I went to see my Tia Chiona, see claims to see the future. Of course we didn't believe her at first but when her predictions started comming true, I quickly thought "Fuck that shit, I need this bitch on my side". It's like she would be in a crazy stupper brought on by the amount of alcohol she can pound in under a minute. She would reveal things like; one time she was like "showers are comming I could feel it", Then she pissd herself and the next day it rained! Then this one time she said, "the stars light our way" then she shaved her head and walked down the street naked with nothing but a tin foil hat on. The following day Britney Spears did the same thing. Now there's a epidemic of bald girls and gay boys. (I personally think she just wanted to Lean Like A Cholo and get street credit for her gangster ablum "Black Out".) Most people think my Tia Chiona's a crazy bitch, but I know the truth, she's special, not like short bus special but like she's talking to GOD right in front of you and nobody's there, special. Like when she said "A mighty wind will come and force evacuation", Hello Hurricane Katrina!!!! Even though she did fart right after and we had to leave the house due to nose bleeds.
Okay so to get back to my story..... I went to see my her and ask about the news I had got from that guy, (not to mention the burning itching sensation I now have.)
She said "Who the Fuck do you think you are?"
Like wow, My tia maybe be a prophet or a wiseman or a wino, but she's right!
When fuck do we think we are trying to tell the world who's in charge! Hello It's only been here millions and millions of years before we have, yet we seem to thinks we have so much knowlegde, HA! No wonder Mother Earth might take us out!!! Or not!!
But either way, we need to make peace with ourselves, our beliefs and those around us... So if we die then we are at peace, and if not, I don't know about your fucking ass, but living peacefully is a pretty damn good way to live the rest of your life, don't you think??!??!
Well now come to think of it, my Tia does ask 'who the fuck do we think we are', when she has no idea who the fuck we are!!!!
But I'll stick with finding meaning in nonsense!!! It helps me cope with the fact that my tia is propbably the most sane person on this planet!!!
Well Fuck it!! Can't stop the inevitable from occuring, so Let it will be!!!

Chi Chi Pussyculo




Playing On Your Speakerphone

High Guys!
I was extremely pleased to open my email today to see that a live album is being released by none other than KYLIE MINOGUE!!! I was so lucky to see her at the Hollywood Bowl this year with Chi Chi. Oh my Goddess she was amazing, slicing and stabbing people for their money and Kylie was fucking PERFECTION! DUH. It is kinda fuzzy 'cause I was either too drunk or not drunk enough for the show. I do remember a sea of people dancing and making robotic movements, a couple of guys in jockstraps walking around and a purple buffalo in the bathroom. It was sooooo much fun! KYLIE, YOU ROCK.

Listen to the new the new studio mix of SPEAKERPHONE by Steve Anderson, its like cumming for your ear. Don't forget to check out

Here's a video flashback of your favorite putas performing LIKE A DRUG from Kylie's album X. I love X.

Go Green,
Jenna Mystique AKA Chonga Bonga